


Things I Won't Lose - Station 19

by Veronicaa



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24270091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veronicaa/pseuds/Veronicaa
Summary: Some of my ideas for the show. Set after 3 x 13.
Relationships: Andy Herrera/Robert Sullivan, Maya Bishop/Andy Herrera
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

Sullivan POV

It was mine and Andy's first day back at work after Pruitt's death. Unfortunately I have a strong feeling that it could be my last day here. Maya told Dixon that I abandoned the scene and Ben knows, I don't know how, but Warren know the truth. I'm not even curious if he realised it himself or if someone told him. I don't have time to think about it. It could be my last day at work and I don't know what to do.  
This whole situation reminded me about Aid Car crash. I remember when I talked with Andy about not being firefighter. I wasn't able to resign from firefightering then, so can I do it now? I walked to the window and looked at the garage. Bishop was talking with Andy and they were smiling. My wife was smiling. Normally it wouldn't be a big deal, she smiles a lot, which I love about her, but after her father's death she wasn't smiling much. I only saw her smiling, because she was grateful and now I can tell that she was truly happy. This is what this place is doing with her. It makes her happy and I think it makes all of us happy. A lot of things have changed for the past few months, but one or should I say two things hadn't. I'm in love with Andy and I still want to be a firefighter. I can swear to God that I will never in my life, give up on any of this two things. I will fight for my job, even if I will have to come out of my shadow in front of the entire team. I will face the consequences, I will do whatever it takes and I will keep my job. That was all the things I said to myself before I heard the knock.  
"Come in Warren" I said ready for whatever will come next.


	2. Come clean

Sullivan POV  
"Come in Warren" I said ready for whatever will come next.  
"Hello Sir. I think you know why I'm here." He said.  
"Do you found person who stole fentanyl?" I asked calmly, and tried to guess how he will play this out.  
"Yes, I did and we both know who is it."  
"Ok then what are you going to do?" I asked.  
"I will do what you told me to do. I will report it."   
"Fine."   
"Fine? This is all you want to say to me. You stole the drugs which is a felony! You put everyone's life on the line. You are going to go to the Chief right now and you are going to tell him the truth, all of it." He said. I can see that he was mad, but also disappointed.  
"I will go to him. I made a mistake and not until Amelia started treating me, I realized it, but first I need to speak with the team." I demanded.  
"With all due respect sir, you are..." He started, but I didn't let him finish the sentence.  
"They deserve to know sooner than this asshole Dixon. If you have a problem, then make it an order. Go get everyone in the beanery now!" I know I'm screwed, but I have to be honest with everyone. If this is my last day at work, then I will leave, but I will do it my way, on my conditions. I'm ready to face Dixon, but I won't do it before I speak with everyone. This people are too important for me and I regret that I pushed them all away. I need to fix my mistake and maybe they will forgive me some day. I looked at the watch. 5 minutes passed since Warren left. I think they should be in the beanery by now, so it's my show time.


	3. Facing the team

Sullivan POV  
When I walked to the beanery everyone was there as I expected.   
"Sir what is going on? Warren didn't wanted to tell us what this meeting is about." Bishop asked.  
"At first I want you all to sit down." They all sat at the table, but I was still standing in front of the top of the table.  
"I asked you to come here, because someone stole 3 vials of fentanyl from PRT." I said and everyone started throwing suspections about, what could have happened with the vials. They were in shock.  
"Sir do you think that someone from the A shift did this?" Travis asked.  
"We already know who did this." Warren said angrily and everyone started plotting again.  
"It was me." I said and the whole team couldn't believe it. I looked at Andy who sat as close to me as possible.  
"You heard him. He stole the drugs. He stole the drugs from my truck, because of him I could have lost PRT without even going on the first call in it." Warren said and made me look at him. He sat opposite Andy so I lost eye contact with my rock - my wife.  
"Why did you do this Sir?" Jack asked.   
"What difference does it make Jack? He did it and there will be consequences." Ben said.  
"It makes a difference! Remember when I had a PTSD. I wasn't here, but Maya what you told me that Capitan Herrera said that day?" Jack asked.  
"He said that we are family and when one of us is struggling, then we have to help." Maya answered.  
"That's right we are a family. Does stealing drugs looks like struggling for you Ben?" Jack continued.  
"Well you are probably right. I'm sorry sir. Please tell us what's wrong?" Warren said a bit confused.   
"Ok I will start from the beginning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts? Xoxo


	4. From the begging

Sullivan POV   
"Ok I will start from the beginning. I made my first mistake, when I arrived here. I should have open a bit more to all of you. I had to be in that stupid Aid Car accident to realise that I need other people, that I need friends. I did open up to you a bit more after that. I painted walls with you guys and I was boxing with Warren, but my legs weren't as strong as before the accident and not until we came back from Los Angels I realized that."  
"What happened?" Probie asked.  
"You weren't there, but the rest of the team probably remember that, before we evacuated, me and Herrera went out to patrol the neighborhood?" I said and the team team nodded.  
"While we were out the situation got worse. Fire surrounded us and if we hadn't done anything, we would die there. I wanted to   
kick the door down and that's when my health problems start."  
"What happened?" Ben asked.  
"I set my leg incorrect" I answered.   
"Plus the door was reinforced" Andy added.  
"How did you got out?" Probie asked again.  
"Andy found the pool behind the house. We took off our gear and jumped inside. We stayed underwater until flames backed away." I said and everyone was shocked.  
"You never said anything about it." Vic said.  
"We didn't have need to tell you that. Continuing when we came back, my leg gave up and I closed myself from all of you. My first pain wave hit me in the Capitan's bunk just after we arrived." I looked at Andy, she looked really sad right now.  
"What does it mean "first wave of pain"? Did you went to the doctor?" Dean asked.  
"I went to dr. Koracick and he diagnosed me with CPRS. Do you know what it is?"   
"Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. I'm so sorry Sir. You should have told me, I will do everything in my power to help you." Ben said.  
"Can't you treat it or something?" Vic asked.  
"The operation is expensive and it helps only in 50% cases." I answered.  
"Yeah, but department should cover it, right?" Ben asked.  
"Maybe, but I would probably lose my job for 50% chances that it would help." I said.  
"Why Koracick didn't give up any painkillers?" Ben asked again.  
"He did, but I ran out of them. Do you know how it is to feel pain all the time and not be able to stop it. I couldn't take it anymore and that's why I stole fentanyl. I realized my mistake after I overdosed and saw Lucas."   
"You saw Ripley?!" Vic asked.


	5. Laughing

Sullivan POV  
"You saw Ripley?!" Vic asked.  
"Yes I did. He seemed happy. He was making fun of me. Robert Sullivan the biggest formalist in SFD, broke the law." I answered and everyone snorted.  
"I saw you there too." I added.  
"Me?" Hughes asked surprised.  
"You and Luke made me understand how big mistake I have made. While I pushed all of you away, I aslo hurted her. I hurted the only person I love. I will never do it again, I'm sorry...Andy." When I finished my sentence I saw almost everyone's jaws on the floor.  
"Robert..." Andy tried to say something, but I stopped her.  
"Andy I can't keep it a secret anymore. I have to tell them the truth, they need to know that I'm completely honest. Don't worry about HQ, when Ben will report me, I will probably lose my job. Will you say it with me?" She nodded and we both said.  
"We are married." Everyone beside Jack was speachless.  
"Congratulations, at least someone got a chance to marry you!" Gibson said and tried to lighten the mood.  
"Is that what you wanted to tell me and Vic after the shift Herrera?" Maya asked. Andy nodded and I realized why she was so happy, when she spoke with Bishop in the garage earlier today.  
"Yeah congrats and thanks for the invitation." Vic said.  
"We are sorry. It happened very fast. Normally we would have to go to the HQ first and wait for their decision, but we hadn't have much time. We wanted my dad to be there with us and he did it. I promise we wanted to throw a party for you guys after we would have done everything with HQ." Andy explained.  
"Oh yeah if you want us to forgive you, then you should throw a nice party." Travis said.  
"With a lot of food." Dean added.  
"And with some drinks." Jack said and we all smiled. I realized that me and my wife were wrong. We don't have only each other left. We have a whole family here, in station 19.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you agree with the last sentence? Are fans of station 19 a family too? 🤔😘


	6. I feel better

Sullivan POV  
Me and Andy were interrogated about our relationship and wedding for almost 1 hour. I told them the story about how I proposed and how we announced Pruitt that we want to get married. We all laught when I told them about the speech which Capitan Herrera gave me. We were having a good time mostly, because we didn't have to go on calls today, because we were throwing a found rising party at the station. We told Dixon that it's for the people from neighborhood to get more good press, but our hidden goal was to collect money for Pruitt's funeral. We were also about to sell our calendar. I can't believe Hughes did it, and that I took part in it. I was Mr. January. When we show it to Andy she couldn't take it, she was laughing like never before.   
"Sorry to break this happy atmosphere, but I need to know. Chief didn't you stopped taking fentanyl, did you start any treatment or found help somewhere?" Ben asked and everyone suddenly got silent.  
"Yes... I took one dose of fentanyl and when I tried it again... I overdosed. After that I threw away the rest of the fentanyl. I also went for second opinion to dr. Shepherd. She helped me a lot. I'm attending the meeting and I have supportive wife. I know that I did a big mistake and you have to do what is right Ben." It was hard for me to say it, but finally they know everything and I feel better. Now everything is in Ben's and Dixon's hands.


	7. Aftermath

Sullivan POV   
After everything was ready I made smoothies for everyone.  
"Sir, I didn't know you have such a talent, next time we should sell them instead of calendars." Dean said and everyone laughed.   
"That was great." Said Warren, while I was cleaning the cups.   
"I'm glad you liked it. After drinking it all I think I will have something for you in my office. Will you come for it in a few?" I asked Ben.   
"Ofcourse." He answered. 

I came to my office and filled the container in the bathroom. After 5 minutes I heard knocking.  
"Is it ready?" Warren asked.  
"Yes. Are you sure you want to do it. Do you really want to cover me?" I asked.  
"Jack reminded me of something I forgot a long time ago. We are family and I need to support you as you supported me with medic one and PRT. You are a great person just like Amelia and she kept her job, so why you can't do it either. I'm sorry about earlier. I should have done something before, when I suspected something."  
"No it's ok I shouldn't have been so distanced. It's my fault too."  
"So we need new deal. What about we go out somewhere with the boys. We could grab some drinks. It could be something like Batchelor party. What do you think?" Ben asked.  
"Well I already had Batchelor party once. You know it's my second marriage."I answered. Warren was so confused, that he didn't know what to say.  
"I was joking. I would love to let you organize it!" I said.  
"OMG I thought you were serious. Gee sir I can't recognize you."  
"Sorry I just wanted to see how you gonna react. Andy really have changed me." I said.  
"Well it's not like it's something bad. I really like this happy version of you Chief." He said. I need to say that he wasn't the only one who liked more this happy Robert more than Chief Sullivan.


	8. The bet

Sullivan POV   
Me and Ben were still talking when we heard a knock.   
"Come in." I said.  
"Miranda what are you doing here?" Ben asked.  
"Well I brought the money for Pruitt's funeral. We were collecting it at the hospital too. I wanted to find you and maybe do one more round here at the station. Chief, Ben will you put something inside?" Bailey asked and Ben putted something in the box. I went to my jacket and take out my pocket. When I was thinking if I should go all in or leave something in my wallet Ben spoke again.  
"Chief isn't Pruitt Herrera your father-in-law?" After this words I didn't have to think twice and I put everything which I had in my wallet to the box.   
"Wow, you really loved him." Bailey joked.  
"I'm really proud of you, both of you for coming clean." Miranda said when we were leaving my office.  
"How do you know? How did she know Ben?" I asked surprised.  
"Don't ask me, she knows everything." He answered.  
"That's true." She answered and we laught.  
We joined the team and other people who joined us for the dinner. It was amazing. We collected money for Pruitt's funeral and Ben even took part in the bet with Hughes whose party will be better. The one which Warren and the boys are throwing for me or the one which Vic, Maya and some of their women doctor friends from Grey Sloan, including Bayley, are throwing for Andy. It was the best day I have ever had with the team and from now I hope there will be more days like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it my first finished story? YES.   
> I hope you liked it and maybe in the future I will write a few more chapter for you so you will be able to see who won the bet. XOXO Vee 💜


End file.
